The Shortcomings of Mr. Nice Guy by Tola-Francis Olabanjo

August 19, 2018 Tola-Francis No comments exist

The Shortcomings of Mr. Nice guy.

A man or woman who is not nice is termed either wicked or heartless, nevertheless being nice is an attribute that should be seen among people with human feelings, among a people that claim to love others the way they love themselves. The bible says love your neighbor as you love yourself, do unto others as you want them to do unto you. But the shortcomings, flaws, and dangers of being nice have made so many people think twice before caring or rendering an act of love or service of love.(Love is patient, love is kind). In the real sense, there is always a glory attached to shortcomings of “Mr or Mrs. Nice guy”. (Note: I will be using Mr. Nice for both genders) Every shortcoming is a stepping stone to glory. Jesus was nice to everyone. He went about healing those that were sick and oppressed by the devil, he was nice to the sinners, prostitutes, Gentiles, and Jews. But at the end, the same race that was shouting hosanna was the same race that hung him on the cross and he came to save all of them. Was he persecuted despite all the nice services? But a greater glory came afterward.
Below are the Persecutions Of Mr. Nice guy

High Expectations                                                                                                 

They expect so much from people they assume the way they easily attend to the need of others, they expect others to read their mind as well. so most times they feel disappointed or a little heartbroken. One day I felt so pained in my heart on a Sunday, which happens to be my birthday, because I was not celebrated like I used to celebrate others, as a minister in the house of God, I will always sing and dance along with a celebrant until I see a big grin on their faces. so everyone is always expecting me to sing and praise God on their behalf whenever it is their birthday even though my musical notes is sometimes off-key. I learnt a lesson from this. The bible says do unto others as you want them to do to you. not expect the same from them but from God.


Nice people sometimes get worn out. Mr nice guys will always try to help or please everyone and in the process exhaust their energy or the service they render and sometimes to their own detriment, a woman came to him that her husband is always giving money to everyone who begs for it or anyone in need but he would give less to his family. The problem is that he must have exhausted his money on others before getting home, or sometimes Mr nice guy could exhaust his energy trying to help a friend to visit the grocery store and help another to the airport and help another draft a proposal letter and so on. At the end of the day will be so tired to attend to his laundry, his family and himself.

You can be helping many people, but if you are not helping yourself, you have missed the one person you were born to heal. Alan Cohen

Unable to say No

Most of Mr. Nice guys have difficulty in saying no, even when the task will affect another task at hand. it will either lead to exhaustion or regrets

Blame game

People who nice tend to criticize themselves when they are not able to meet a need, they often put blame on their-selves at every dispute without thinking the fault may not be from them. Always wishing they had known better.

Insincere Relationship Compromise.

Felix is in need of a fast typist to speed up the submission of his field reports instead of requesting help directly from his friend who is a typist to volunteer, he approaches him with cash to motivate the person to help him, or he will request for just 800 words when intact he needs a minimum of 5000 words. When you do this all the time in close relationships, you wind up never really getting what you want (though you fantasize that the other person will read your mind and offer it anyway), and instead only get watered-down versions that are “okay.” Over time, what you’re left with is a watered-down life.

Being nice doesn’t mean you should not be nice, because every deed good or bad is recorded in heaven. You need to know and ask yourselves the following questions
What is our motivation for being nice? is it to be praised is because its the right thing to do, is because we are taught to be compassionate? e.t,c
What is the drive to me being nice? is it anxiety, is it guilt? is it because its your life blueprint
Are you honest or deceitful?
In Conclusion, Back to my question in the first paragraph. Was he persecuted despite all the nice services? Yes, he was but he received a greater name above every other name. Whatever a man sows he will reap. Don’t give up being nice, Don’t hate yourself for being nice, a greater glory awaits you, do your best and leave the rest. stay blessed.

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Banjo Tola Francis
He is a Public Speaker, Writer and Chief Facilitator at Leaders Digest International, a Family and Relationship Counselor and Author of Single Married and Safe, He is on a mandate to see Thriving Godly relationships and fruitful marriages.


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